I just saw my ex’s twin last night, during Christmas Eve mass. Of course she’s different and she just looks like the evil version of her, but I haven’t seen either of them for almost 4 years. No matter how different the two are, she still has the image and likeness of the girl whom I loved like no other; it is impossible for me not to be affected.

My heart felt heavy instantly, but I went to her, smiled and greeted her Merry Christmas. She was shocked but smiled and greeted back. I went away for communion then back to where my sisters were. I was still seeing her from there and realized that there’s just so much I can take of it… so I left and stayed in the car.

Every movement, every smile and gesture of both the twins just came back to me. I could even hear their chinese voices on stereo in my head.

For a while, it made me remember how broken I was, but it also made me realize how far I have come from that state.

Amidst the rush of emotions, that short cameo appearance in my Christmas episode at least made this one a bit more special. It just reminded me of the shift I’m bringing to my priorities this coming year. It gave me something to reflect about for Christmas and more motivation to push through with my plans.

And just a while ago, I found out that she was happy to see me ( I thought I just scared her). Yeah, I’ve forgiven her already (another story) and I guess she needed to feel that. I really wanted her to feel that I have genuinely forgiven her by facing her even if I didn’t want to. I still have the spirit of Christmas after all.